Eyes Wide Open
by Mystical Machine Gun
Summary: You were the one to choose me, but why cannot your love reach me? Sasuke and Naruto are stepbrothers until something changes drastically in the midst of the night. You stupid, stupid Sasuke. M for SEX.
1. Chapter 1

Guess what, I am not dead. Well, there was a little writer's block and vacation…My biggest fear is that one day I might run out of ideas. There is still some up in my sleeve, so no worries! Hmm, I wanted to make a darker story with an emotionally disabled Sasuke. I have written about stepbrothers before, but this time I thought that I should make it from the little brother's point of view. The end might be a little different too although a happy one, of course. Tell me what you think or if you find this is as shitty as hell :D

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke / Sasuke x Naruto

**Summary**: You were the one to choose me, but why cannot your love reach me? Sasuke and Naruto are stepbrothers until something changes drastically in the midst of the night. You stupid, stupid Sasuke. M For SEX.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or what so ever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

_Eyes Wide Open_

I can hear the sounds of sweaty flesh smacking against sweaty flesh. Little moans and groans echo in the otherwise silent room and the moisture makes the windows steamy. The brushing of hair, skin on skin and the rustle make me wrap the pillow more tightly around my head and ears. Only the curtain separates me and the tingling sensation of having a girl panting harshly and wet on top of you.

I am on the wrong side of the curtain - my brother on the other hand has it all. I know the girl; she goes to our school and is the same age as him. I know without seeing that her pink hair is messy and sticking to her face. I know when she has an orgasm, since she lets out little purring sounds while riding my brother's cock. She always tops and rides him like a cowgirl; her perky nipples pointing straight at the wall in front of her. But she is not the only one, they come in different shapes and sizes - he likes to try them all. She does not know that. I hope she never will, I like her.

I remember the girl with humongous breasts and how they slapped against her stomach while he did her from behind. The sounds she made where rough, ugly and nothing like Sakura's. Sakura, the pink strawberry…in those mornings she would pass my part of the room to head for the shower a towel rapped around her gorgeous body. Her scent was always flowery and her skin like cream and sometimes I saw that fine line of white liquid ran down the back of her thigh. She smiled at me, greeted with her rosy lips and her cheeks were always a little flushed. In the meantime I would always get dressed and tried to look more decent for her sake.

Those mornings were always ruined by a hoarse groan coming from behind the curtain. You should get up, I sigh and make my bed. Naruto, the voice murmurs with a broken tune and he opens the curtain slightly. You are wearing my jeans, he snarls and I just look at him dumbfounded. Just this once Sasuke, cannot I just this once borrow these, I ask him irritated. It is not like you were going to wear these today anyway, I murmur at him. He climbs from the bed reeking of sex and pleasure. Give me those jeans, he orders and roams towards me. I hate you, I snap at him and he just makes a remark that he chose me. I know that, but it still dispirits me.

Violently he pushes me on my bed so that I hit my elbow against the wall. He crawls on top of me and straddles me with his muscular thighs. You are squashing me, I whine and he says that he knows that. He squishes some more and starts to unbutton my pants. Go to hell, I scream and try to prevent him from pulling my jeans off. He does it anyway. Now I have only my T-shirt and boxers on when Sakura walks in fresh as the lady spring herself. Sasuke has put on his -my- jeans on looks at me with arrogant eyes. I feel humiliated.

I want some breakfast, he says like nothing happened and heads downstairs. I am curled up in a ball on my bed and suddenly feel so tired. Why did you choose me? Sakura stays in the room and slowly and carefully comes to sit on my bed. Did he tease you again, she smiles sadly. I am sorry, she says and ruffles my hair. She gets up from the bed and follows her boyfriend downstairs. Her scent keeps lingering in the air and I have to muffle the anger and frustration. Soon I follow those too only to greet my mother in the kitchen making pancakes.

The air is filled with the scent of syrup, sugar and fresh, delicious pancakes. Naruto, how many do you want, she chirps like a little bird - like those which sit on my windowsill. A sparrow. I smile at her and tell her I would like as many as she wants to give me. I know that makes her happy. Her smile radiates as she loads my plate with the delicious round little things. Then Sasuke kicks me in the leg and orders me to pass him the syrup. I throw it at him and boy, does he look pissed. Boys, boys, do not fight - we have guests, mother smiles and I am off the hook. For now at least. Sakura and mother are talking lively, but my dear brother only stares at me with his pitch-black eyes. I stare back at him with my own blue eyes filled with something he probably does not understand and never will.

I am always reminded about the fact that Sasuke picked me…he is not my biological brother nor is this my real family. I do not know anything about my biological parents or whether I had any siblings. I was left on the stairs of an orphanage and I stayed in that mansion about a year or something. Then came the Uchiha family with their little son Sasuke in order to find him a sister or a brother. Mother could not have any more kids and having Sasuke was already a miracle so they decided to adopt a younger sibling so that Sasuke would not be lonely.

Our parents travel a lot and they already did so many years ago. I am always told how little chocolate-eyed Sasuke had pointed my cradle and told everyone that I was the one he wanted. Our parents were a bit awestruck since Sasuke had not even looked at the other children and did not do it afterwards either - just pointed at me. How determent he was already at that age, everyone always say. Till today I have not understood why he chose me, since his actions towards me have never been indicating that I am special. I always feel so detached from everything as if this is not my family, not my house, not my anything and I watch it all from far above. And Sasuke's eyes have turned from chocolate to coal.

I stopped asking Sasuke a ride to school a long time ago, since he would not simply let me even touch that precious motor cat of his. So, every morning I take my bike from the garage and follow his exhaust gas trail, which is like an expensive ornament on the street. I arrive at school ten minutes later than them and I see Sasuke leaning towards Sakura and giving her that look. I know the look, I bet every girl does. It is promising, seducing and mysterious, but I think that behind those eyes of his there is absolutely nothing. I would even say that he is emotionally disabled, but then again - I have never actually spend time with him so much that I could have any inner circle information.

People know that and they do not bother me with Sasuke anymore. Well, some do but mostly I am left alone. I am so happy I do not have to interact with him at school…although sometimes when we get off school at the same time, he drives slowly enough so that he and I are abreast. He keeps his windows open and plays that crappy music so loud that my ears hurt. If I try to speed up he follows right after so I still have to listen to that stuff all the way home. I do not know whether he thinks it is funny or something. If so, he has the lousiest sense of humour I know. I love my family, I really do - but I do not want to live in this nonexistence where everything tastes like nothing and the aftertaste is even worse; it leaves totally empty.

Again we had a fight over the simplest of tings; something about not leaving clothes lying on the ground or something quite similar. I have always hated how he thinks the world is supposed to revolve around him and him only. That arrogant bastard and his nonchalant smile, which has died a horrible death on his lips. The fight becomes physical as he presses my body into the mattress with his whole weight. He has my hands tied behind my back and the pain gets a new meaning when he bites my ear until it bleeds.

He gets something out of this, only his sick mind would get something out of this and I can feel him hard against my lower back. I do not know whether it is because of the situation or because he is going to score with Sakura tonight, but I still feel disgusted. The pillow suffocates all the more. He laughs dryly and just before standing up, he ruffles my hair. The weight disappears as same as Sasuke's body warmth, but I keep lying still. A great sigh escapes my lips as I decide to go to bed and sleep late till noon. I wish I would fall asleep before the night routine of his begins all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

Guess what, I am not dead. Well, there was a little writer's block and vacation…My biggest fear is that one day I might run out of ideas. There is still some up in my sleeve, so no worries! Hmm, I wanted to make a darker story with an emotionally disabled Sasuke. I have written about stepbrothers before, but this time I thought that I should make it from the little brother's point of view. The end might be a little different too although a happy one, of course. Tell me what you think or if you find this is as shitty as hell :D

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke / Sasuke x Naruto

**Summary**: You were the one to choose me, but why cannot your love reach me? Sasuke and Naruto are stepbrothers until something changes drastically in the midst of the night. You stupid, stupid Sasuke. M for SEX.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or what so ever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

I hear the door creek just the slightest and Sakura's sweet giggle fills the empty corners of the dark room. She pleads Sasuke to stop, but her voice is still filled with laughter. She enjoys it and I squeeze my eyes closed more tightly. Sasuke's steps are a little off balance and those two practically stumble to his side of the room. There goes the loud "thump" again as he pushes her on the bed and probably devours her like a wolf. Animal instinct, no shit. If only that bed did not creek and if only her little sounds with heavy moisture would not fill the air like the first signs of a storm.

It is a ride on which I should not be but cannot get off either. Sweat, heat, skin, more skin…it does not even matter whether I fight it or not, I am still affected. Indirect sex pulsates in my pants and lives a life of its own, but I always leave it at that. Doing something would only be drowning in the sunless sea. I fill my lungs with air and let it out. I should sleep. Sigh, I know you want it deeper, faster and everything, but please keep it to yourself…

In the middle of the night I wake up to weird ruffling sounds coming from quite near me. It is too dark to see anything, but yet still my eyes try to focus and make something out of the sea of shadows. That figure moves stumblingly and supposedly towards me and for a second I think it is Sakura just wandering towards the wrong bed; my bed. Suddenly that someone sits on my bed and the mattress sinks too much to be a mere girl. A little snort escapes that person's lips as he climbs on top of me. I am too paralyzed to do anything and my only thoughts revolve around the fact that I should say something about this being my bed.

I open my mouth to clear things up, but a hand moves to shut me up. The palm is big, bony and slightly chilly. What, I try to ask, but the voice merely shushes. The moon decides to join this bizarre moment and at that moment I can clearly see that the said person is Sasuke. He sits on top of me while watching me, but does not move from his place. His eyes glint in the moonlight and his hair has fallen over his facial features. He starts to move a bit by bit, grinding his arse against my loins and crotch. The fabric of his boxers and mine makes little sounds almost out of hearing reach but not enough.

Sasuke's palm presses more tightly against my mouth, squeezes my cheeks and in every way suffocates me. My head fills up with nothingness since I cannot comprehend what is happening. His knees slide on the sheets as his movements grow more rapid and even if I try to suppress it, my manhood decides to respond to the heat and friction. My powerless hands seek to stop him, but he merely slaps them away and presses my mouth more. This is a warning and my hands die to my sides. I close my eyes and wish it would go away. Please, go away. For a second I thought someone up there listened to me and answered my calls, since the movements stopped and only little rustle reminded that I was not alone on my side of the room.

I am about to sigh until a rough movement with equally rough hands pull my boxers off. My eyes snap open and reflexes take over as my hands revive themselves from paralysation. Again those strong hands laugh against my own. I resist with everything I have, but it is useless. It always is. More rustle until he is on top of me again. Those silky and naked thighs touch my bare skin and the panic almost makes me pass out. What is he doing??? His just as bare arse feels warm against my crotch and my organ pulsates between his legs pointing straight up. Oh God, the shame dyes my face red and droplets of salty liquid wet my face. No, I cry, but his palm shuts me up again.

It is hard to see through the tears but I am sure he smiled. Smiled. His left hand releases me while the right one keeps me still. Sasuke slides those fingers of his inside his mouth and sucks them. Then he removes them while a string of saliva still binds them to his mouth. That smile creeps me out and the only thing I can think of is whether Sakura sees or hears us. He plunges his own fingers up his arse and my eyes widen twice their size. He fucks himself with his fingers and I would gape if his palm was not occupying my mouth. Saliva drips from his hole on to my lower stomach and it feels warm. He retorts those fingers and again and then raises his body enough to grab my penis.

He yanks it a few times and pulls the foreskin back. The cold air hits against the head and my stomach takes a U-turn. Sasuke lowers his body on to my crotch and lets my organ fondle the entrance of his sacred temple. Little moans escape his lips and he begins to suck me in. First goes the head, then half until he pushes hard against me. My manhood sinks into him like a hot knife into butter and it makes my whole body shiver from head to toe. Sasuke practically sits on me huffing, making faces and trying to breathe as I am only gaping, trying to settle this feeling in my stomach.

It cramps all over my body and even though Sasuke's palm does not press my mouth anymore, he himself is doing that with his body. My organ twitches inside him; I cannot comprehend the warmness, the softness…it drowns me. I thought it was the peek until he began to move. Those muscular thighs move his body up and down my length, rubbing it and creating friction as melting as the sun. I grow hotter by the minute although I have no clue how much time has passed. Sasuke's movements are harder now, his body slamming against mine.

Somehow my hands decide to make everything even better as they grab Sasuke thighs and with power equal to a bulldozer give him extra boost. I squeeze his muscles and he mewls, getting more aroused. I am blinded by my own sweat and I let every ounce of decency and moral leave my body like they had never meant anything in the first place. I just want more. I need more. His round buttocks slide on my sweaty skin and the pressure is immense. Oh God, I whisper as I practically explode inside of his tight arse. His silent screams echo in my head and not so long after he cums too. The only difference lies in the fact that his reflexes are amazing - instead of bursting on me, he ejaculates in his hand and not a drop drips on my stomach.

The spasms are killing me as they twist my body like a rubber band; my body cramps totally and I cannot help the shivering. His breathing is ragged as he is still sitting on top of me. Soon my body relaxes and I can breathe once more. Sasuke looks at me with blank expression or maybe I just cannot read it. Then he stands up gracefully and leaves for the bathroom. Some of my own semen forms a puddle on my lower stomach and my eyes are nailed to it. It takes some time until my brains register everything and just then the panic raises its ugly head.

Oh God, oh God…Sasuke was just with Sakura…oh God, she is right behind the curtain. Did she see or hear us? Oh my God, we did not use a condom, shit. What if Sasuke never uses..? The thought of getting AIDS from this makes me almost vomit. Why did I not fight more, beat him, anything? The tension in my body makes it shudder with displeasure and everything in my stomach tries to come up again. I feel so tired, sick and the self-hatred rapes my body, but somehow I still manage to fall asleep with great amount of nightmares.

In the morning I wake up feeling still tired. Then I remember the previous night and my stomach hurts. This is how girls must feel when they are on their periods…A cold sweat breaks on my forehead as I peak to Sasuke's side. Thank God it is empty and the bed is made neatly. I hear mom talking and laughing downstairs and I take my phone with shaky hands. I dial search operator's number and ask for the number to the nearest clinic. Sweat decorates my whole face and I cannot control my hands. I just hope I can squeeze the words out of my mouth. A chilly and dull voice answers the phone.

I ask about AIDS or any venereal disease tests and what I should do if I suspect I have got infected. The voice reminds me of fish in a tank as it tells me to wait a couple of months before taking a blood test. That way the result should be more accurate. I am about to faint - I actually have to wait that long not knowing if I am already dying inside. With teary voice I thank the doctor and hang up the phone. After the call I burst out in full crying mode; I bury myself in the pillow and scream my voice muffled. For awhile I just breathe and try to relax.

Then my stomach crumbles and I decide I want mom's pancakes and a load of them. My shaky steps lead me downstairs and straight to the kitchen, where Sasuke and Sakura already eat their meals. Oh, it is a Saturday, I remember and my mood darkens a little more. Dear, you look tired, mom says worriedly and makes me tea. Sakura chirps next to Sasuke and I am about to cry. If only she knew. Sasuke's eyes are glued to the meal until he raises his gaze to meet mine. I hate your eyes, I hate you, my mind screams. I fucking cannot read you, you fucker.

Suddenly Sakura smiles with an apology, seems she has to leave, since her family is having a family dinner of some sort. She bids us goodbye and kisses Sasuke on the cheek, but he does not even glance at her. I merely turn my gaze away, because the whole scene is so sickening. Sasuke dear, could you go to the store and buy some bread, we are almost out of it, mom asks and Sasuke just groans something back. He stands up from the table and suddenly grabs my collar, Naruto is coming too, he sneers. Mom smiles at us and probably thinks this is some shitty bonding between brothers. He drags me to his car and almost slams me into the front seat. Then he goes to his driver's seat and starts up the car violently.


	3. Chapter 3

Guess what, I am not dead. Well, there was a little writer's block and vacation…My biggest fear is that one day I might run out of ideas. There is still some up in my sleeve, so no worries! Hmm, I wanted to make a darker story with an emotionally disabled Sasuke. I have written about stepbrothers before, but this time I thought that I should make it from the little brother's point of view. The end might be a little different too although a happy one, of course. Tell me what you think or if you find this is as shitty as hell :D

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

**Pairing**: Naruto x Sasuke / Sasuke x Naruto

**Summary**: You were the one to choose me, but why cannot your love reach me? Sasuke and Naruto are stepbrothers until something changes drastically in the midst of the night. You stupid, stupid Sasuke. M for SEX.

**Disclaimer**: I have no rights over the characters or what so ever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

The trip to the store is dead quiet and I merely sulk while pressing my head against the chilly window. We go to buy the bread like two dead zombies, both of us acting like a log. Then we are suddenly back in his car and I decide to break the silence - I need to know. Do you have AIDS, syphilis or some other disease I should know of, since you practically raped me and well, I do not want to die, the words burst out of my mouth with anger and spit although I did not meant to do that so childishly. He looks at me weirdly until a little devilish half of a grin appears to his lips as he says that it is kind of impossible to rape the willing.

My jaw drops to the car floor as he just looks at me smugly. Then something snaps in my head and I see red; I take him by the front of his shirt and shake him angrily. Do you have or do you not, I scream and he is basically a ragdoll in my hold. He does not answer and that sends my fist flying straight to his face. My hard knuckles smack against his upper lip and in the process cut it. As I withdraw my hand, his lip is already bleeding quite greedily and I rant and rave how much I hate him. I get out of the car, slam the door and run as fast as my frigging legs carry me. My hand has Sasuke's blood on it but I do not even bother to wipe it off. I run back home and straight up the stairs.

A little later Sasuke comes too, or so I presume, because of the click of the door and mother asking worriedly what happened to his face. Sasuke mumbles something, but I cannot get what he is saying. Then again - I do not really care. He knows to stay away from our room and hangs downstairs until I am fast asleep. When I wake up the next morning he is already out of the house and there seems to be more air to breathe thanks to his absence. A day became a week and somehow it was crazy how two people sharing the same room pretended as if the other did not exist.

What I still noticed was that the cut on his lip did not heal as fast as I thought it would. Somehow I felt so sorry for Sasuke; he looked so lost and ghost-like as he walked in the house his gaze cast down. I am not a person who can be angry for ages so one morning I stopped him in the hallway and patted him on the shoulder. I did not know what to say, but I still wanted him to know that I did not hate him. That much. A little smile broke on to his lips with my action and I felt better - I hope he did too. Whether I was doing all that for my own sake was not clear for me, but seeing his face made me content that it was for his sake too.

That night Sasuke and Sakura had the most massive fight since God knows when. She was staying at our house again. The evening had been nice, nothing peculiar about that. I would have not known about the fight if I had not been awake that time when it started. We had already went to bed, when the little whispers filled the room, danced on the surface of the curtain until they turned into angry shushes and muffled screams. By the sound of things Sakura might have figured out Sasuke is cheating on her.

Little slaps and angry shushes kill the oxygen until some ruffle and perfect silence. Suddenly the curtain rustles and a figure moves to my side. Then that figure dives like a dolphin under my blanket. A pink head looks at me from under the blanket and she asks whether she can sleep in my bed just this night. Sss..sure, I stutter and she closes her eyes. Oh my God, Sakura is on my bed - with me, no less - breathing there, looking so vulnerable. Her warm breath hits my face and I cannot be nothing but affected by it. I am getting a hard-on even though I try to fight it. I sure do not want her to notice that. I nuzzle a little closer and watch her lie there next to me. This must be a dream. Suddenly the curtain is ripped open and an angry Sasuke stands behind it. Without even noticing I jerk back.

He looks pissed and that I can tell without even looking at him - I can sense the killer aura. You little cunt, he swears and stumbles to my bed in the darkness. He hits the light switch with anger. Sakura has her scared eyes open now and is in half-sitting position. Out of the bed, he snarls and glares at me. My hands tremble and like that he pulls Sakura off the bed on to the ground. He has her hair in his fist and his eyes burn like the fire of the devil. Sakura looks terrified and sits paralyzed on the floor. Then Sasuke sets his eyes on me, practically jumping on top of me. He straddles my body with his thighs and his hands find their way to my neck like two snakes. Then those snakes decide to tighten their grip and just then I realize that he is actually trying to choke me.

It gets harder to breathe and I panic; I scratch and claw the skin on his arms while trying to prevent the tightening of his grip. My throat lets out weird noises and Sakura cries. You..you are going to kill him, stop it!!! She screams, but he does not listen. Why are not mom and dad here, why they had to be on a trip today of all days? Now I cry myself too, but he just calmly moves his other hand to press my mouth. I am so scared I am about to piss my pants and he, he looks like he could do laundry at the same time with ease. Sakura, leave or are you willing to pay the consequences, he says maliciously. She is in a shock, but still threatens to call the police.

Do that and you will see what I am capable off, he continues dryly while choking me more. My life, it runs before me like photos; nothing makes sense anymore. Sakura backs off trembling, shaking like a paper lantern in the wind. I am sorry Naruto, I am sorry, she cries and runs out of the house, out of my life. Seems my life is leaving this house too. I was about to accept my fate until his left hand moved on to my crotch. My eyes snap open when I realize that this is happening again. I bite his hand and he swears until he hits me in the face. The power of the punch makes my head turn to the side and leaves me open to his antics.

Sasuke's hand rubs my genitals and the movements alongside my adrenalin bring life into my trousers. Fuck, I swear and I try to suppress the heat, the touching. Unluckily my brains know what wonderful things are on their way and accept everything without much resistance. He lowers my boxers and reveals my organ - his hand fondles it carefully, promising so much more. I hate him. I want him. I do not know how he does it, but he pulls his own boxers quite easily off and without any warning sits on me with force. No lubricant, no nothing. Everything inside me spins around; the sudden heat and aggression suffocate me. The expression on his face is something between pain and utter suffering.

Sasuke's whole body shudders and I can even see that his muscles cramp trying to adjust to the new tormenting feeling. He still moves, slightly, almost painfully and small trails of tears run down his cheekbones. His movements halt slowly until he is still like the air around us. I do not even dare to move. He buries his face in his hands and cries audibly; those tears drop like rain on to my stomach. Suddenly I feel something warm and wet occupy my lower region. It is sticky and it does not take that much time until I realize it is blood, his blood. He just cries and I lift my hand on to his cheek and from there I slide both of my hands on to his shoulders. I pull him down next to me. I hate crying, it makes me so week, but now I feel like I am more powerful than ever. My big brother cries in my arms, he, who is taller, heavier and has more strength than me.

I let him cry, I do not even shush. Somehow he seems so small and I merely encircle him with my arms. I press my head on to his head and cover us with my blanket. Soon he falls asleep and I cannot help but hymn that Goo Goo Dolls song "_I never put you down, I never pushed you away/ You're not supposed to be that way/ And anything you want, there's nothing I could say/ Is there anything to feel?/ Is it pain that makes you real?/ Cut me off before it kills me/--/ I never put you down, I never pushed you away/ Take another piece of me/ Give my mind a new disease/ And the black and white world never fades to gray/--_". Stupid, stupid boy, stupid, stupid Sasuke.

In the morning I wake up remembering that I have to go to school. As I open my eyes I see that I am alone in my bed and there is no sign that it would have ever been otherwise. I throw my blanket away, but there is no blood on me. Then I look more closely and I see faint stains still covering my inner thighs. It seems Sasuke has wiped me clean although thinking about it makes me feel weird. Why would he do that? Then again, he has already left..maybe he was afraid mom would see. Our parents came back this morning it seems, at least by the sounds of kitchenware. I so need breakfast and probably painkillers too. Amnesia would not be that bad either.

My mind has hard time following these complicated paths - in the back of my mind the thought of AIDS and other unpleasant things throb like suicide note in progress. I need to shut those thoughts out. I only drink orange juice, greet my parents and take off to school. I lock the door and in the driveway I see Sasuke's car and him sitting inside not so far from my bike. As I get nearer my bike, he suddenly opens the door to the front seat. I must look like a corpse or something, since he awkwardly pats the seat, wanting me to come and sit there. What the hell is this, my mind screams angrily, but my legs lead me to his car.

Rigidly I sit and close the door. Sasuke looks determent and puts on the radio. Steven Tyler sings to us that he does not want to miss one smile, not one kiss. He just wants to be with someone, right here with that person, just like this. He just wants to hold that someone, feel the other person's heart so close to his own, and stay in this moment, for all the rest of time. I love the song, but not listening to it in this car with Sasuke.

Suddenly he starts to sing-along with Aerosmith "_I don't wanna close my eyes/ I don't wanna fall asleep/ 'Cause I'd miss you, babe/ And I don't wanna miss a thing/ 'Cause even when I dream of you/ The sweetest dream will never do/ I'd still miss you, babe/ And I don't wanna miss a thing.._". He actually has a nice voice, even romantic I would say. It still feels weird as if he is singing the song to me. I sigh a little and yet again press my face against the chilly car window.

The trip home goes fine too, if you consider the stiffness okay and the fact that I even agreed to step back into that vehicle. Sasuke just seemed so lost and apologetic that I did not have the heart to tell him to go fuck himself. Maybe I do not even want that. Just before we get to our yard, he smiles sadly and says that he has never done it without protection so I do not have to worry. The panic in me settles down a little, I should have known he is not that irresponsible. Now I even feel sorry for not trusting him, but then again - it was my life at stake too.

It does not make everything okay, I answer silently. Sasuke lowers his gaze and does not say anything after that. We step out of the car and I breathe the fresh air. Life seems a little bit brighter and I ask him to follow me before we freeze our balls. He snorts slightly and after locking the car door runs after me. As we step inside the house he suddenly pulls me close from behind me and presses his bony body tightly against mine. I do not brush him off. You know, you were the first one for me, in that regard, he whispers in my hair. I have and I always will love you more than this world allows, he continues those silent whispers, which tickle and give birth to goose bumps all over my body.

I smile faintly and say to him that he probably does not mean mere brotherly love. I know you do not mean it either, he breathes warm air on to my skin and I squeeze his hand tightly. Sasuke almost sings to me _"--/__'Cause I couldn't stop the world, 'cause I loved you/ I couldn't stop the world, and I don't want to/ I couldn't stop the world, and I won't/ 'Cause it ain't enough--/_", but it does not mean we should not try, he then adds after a break. Yeah, I breathe and take him by the hand. Small steps become bigger ones and maybe there is nothing left tomorrow, but at least we will remember the taste. So come on, make my day and I promise there are more of those to come, you stupid, stupid boy, my stupid, stupid Sasuke.


End file.
